


Fanboy 2.0

by Koane (volleyball_crow)



Series: Be My Coach, Yuuri!, a series [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Short, Short One Shot, Viktor is still delighted, Yuuri regrets everything, history keeps repeating itself, i take no responsibility for this one either, their poor new student will soon be beyond any shame, this is why skating otakus should never meet their idols, written around 3 or 4 AM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleyball_crow/pseuds/Koane
Summary: Choosing a Yuuri fanboy as their first student was the best decision they could have made. It's the gift that keeps on giving.





	

Viktor is enjoying himself immensely. Not only is Yuuri being confronted with the fact that he's an amazing skater with tons of fans on a daily basis, but it's happening in the funniest ways. Taking a Yuuri fanboy as a student has quickly revealed itself to be the wonderful life decision Viktor knew it would be. Kid is the very definition of a fanboy, it's hilarious. And he medals a lot, too!

*

First, Viktor happens to catch a glimpse of the wallpaper their baby skater--ahem, that is, their student--has on his phone, and it's the best thing that has happened all week.

He launches himself forward and takes the phone away from its owner before that glorious sight can be taken from him. "Oh my god," Viktor nearly squeals with glee, holding the phone over his head while said phone owner screeches in terror and starts hopping like a mad rabbit trying to get at it. "Is that _Yuuri?_ " Viktor cackles.

To his student's horror, that catches Yuuri's attention just like it was meant to. Yuuri looks up from his notes where he's sitting by the rink side. "Me? What?"

"NononononoViktor _PLEASE,_ " their student begs, hoping that for once, FOR ONCE IN HIS DAMN LIFE, Viktor will be a merciful coach and spare his dignity.

Viktor is a kind, supportive, genius coach... and he knows no mercy. "Yuuri, look, look!" he skips over to his husband, presenting the phone with the same satisfied look of a cat dragging in an incredibly messy kill all over pristine carpets. "It's you!" he says, like Yuuri wouldn't recognize a photo of himself in incredibly high resolution. "Isn't that adorable?" he adds with an amused glance at their student, who has given up on life and is now just kneeling on the ice with his face in his hands, begging for a quick death.

Yuuri looks down at the phone and finds himself staring back, hair gelled out of his face, glittering in the black eros costume of Viktor's Junior days, and his face- at the beginning of the Eros routine- Who even thought taking a photo of him licking his lips and squinting would be a good idea? Hell, why did Yuuri think doing that would be sexy? That is the single unsexiest thing Yuuri has ever seen, who even let him do this? And just. Just--

"Oh god, what is my face _doing_ ," Yuuri despairs. 

"The Lord's work," Viktor replies fervently, hand on his heart.

"Amen," whispers their student to the ice, still wishing for death but helpless to do anything but agree.

*

Then it's the bedroom.

"That's... that's a lot of posters." Yuuri blinks.

"I know," his student wails, red face buried in his hands once again. He seems to do that a lot. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I was given one at first, and then every time... there was a new one, I had to... and then it kind of... escalated..."

"I... sort of get it. I, um." Can he confess he used to be the most obsessed fanboy the man that is now his husband ever had? "Not entirely, but I can imagine?" Nope, seems Yuuri isn't quite that gone yet. Good to know so many years with Viktor haven't destroyed his ability to feel shame yet.

"You're not mad? It's creepy, I know, but--"

"It's not creepy!" Yuuri might have sounded a little too forceful there. "I mean, it's not creepy," he tries again, more calmly this time, and totally not like someone who'd be called a flagrant hypocrite if he'd said anything else. "I am... flattered. To be admired like that. I don't... really think I'm worthy, but it's flattering. So. Um. Yeah," Yuuri has no idea if he's saying the right thing. What is even happening. "Thank you?" he tries.

"Oh," his student smiles down at his feet, bashful. Good, those seem to have been the right words, Yuuri's relieved.

And then Yuuri remembers. "Just... don't ever let Viktor find out. Ever."

"Wh-?"

And because the world hates Yuuri, that's when Viktor, tired of waiting for them to bring their student's bags down to the car, shows up right at the bedroom door.

"Yuuri, there you are, why are you two taking so--"

Oh no.

"Oh. My. God." Viktor's smile grows like suddenly it's Christmas, New Year's, and their wedding all over again.

Yuuri groans.

His husband giggles and claps his hands with delight. "This is the _best thing ever_ ," Viktor crows, entering the room and doing an unfairly graceful spin, eager to take it all in. Their student looks like he's about to faint. "Yuuri, he's just like you at his age!"

"Please, please, will you let this one go. Just this once," Yuuri pleads.

"He has a framed photo of you by his bed! Just like you had one of me! That is so cute!"

"Viktor," Yuuri whines.

"Are those _bed sheets with Yuuri's face on them_ ," Viktor gasps.

"God, why."

*

And then, finally, comes the best part: the wallet.

They're at the entrance of the competition venue, and their student is rushing through his bags, trying to find his wallet so he can fish out his ID.

"Hurry the fuck up, we haven't got all day!" Yurio growls. No one points out that he's already done his own paperwork and belongs to the Russia contingent anyway, so he has no real reason to wait for them. "How many fucking times have you done this already, don't you already know you gotta have your ID ready for this shit?"

"Sorry, I'm sorry! Oh, found it!" Out comes the wallet, but in his hurry, he ends up dropping it as he's opening it. "AH!" Coins fly and cards go everywhere. It's a mess, but then it's nothing new, their young charge tends to be a klutz when he's off the ice.

Viktor and Yuuri immediately lean down and start gathering things to help their flailing student get his cards and money back, but Viktor freezes when he notices what the second card he's picked up says. A smirk tries to erupt. He schools it into a barely there smile instead, because he knows that freaks them out more.

"Is that..." he starts, and delights in how both Yuuri's and his student's spines go stiff upon recognizing that tone in his voice. His smile widens, not unlike a wolf's. "...a Katsuki Yuuri fanclub membership card?"

Pause. 

Horror is about to dawn on them all.

"No?" their poor student tries, voice thin.

"It _is!_ " Viktor cheers, flailing with happiness and then bringing the card up close to his face so he can see it better. "It has a photo of you and everything! And... is this a single digit number I see?" Viktor is clearly having the time of his life. Which, considering he's a five times world champion and more, is saying something. "Just how long have you been a devoted fan of Yuuri's, hmmm?"

"What the fuck?" Yurio snarls, approaching Viktor to see as well. "You guys picked up a Katsudon fanb--" His hip accidentally hits the side of their student's open bag.

The bag drops, and promotional photos of Yuuri cover the ground. Silence rings for a few moments as no one can say anything. Yurio looks apoplectic.

"I CAN EXPLAIN!" their student yells, frantically trying to gather them into his arms. It's no use, there are photos spilling everywhere, Yuuri's face staring up at them from every single one. It's a veritable river of photos, spilling over from the bag and covering their feet in their student's shame.

"Oh god..." Yuuri despairs into his hands.

This is it. Viktor wants nothing more from life at this point. "You are the _best_ student," he tells his embarrassed disciple with a straight face.

And then he starts laughing so hard he can't stand up anymore.

Viktor _loves_ coaching.

**Author's Note:**

> "I'M LEAVING YOU FOR PHICHIT," their student cries for the fourth time that month.
> 
> "HOW COULD YOU! YOU TAKE THAT BACK, MISTER!"
> 
> "NO!"
> 
> "YUURI! YOUR SON IS BEING UNREASONABLE!"
> 
> "He's not my son."
> 
> *outraged gasp*


End file.
